Canyon Ranch (Massachusetts)

There's no escaping them. The waiflike models adorning magazine covers in the supermarket checkout lines, touting quick weight-loss promises and telling you how to trim inches off your belly in four weeks. Promises, promises. And we soak it up. We buy the magazines, we scoop up the products on the infomercials, we go for the weight-loss miracles. To the tune of $46 billion per year.

But, in spite of – or maybe because of – the preponderance of weight-loss articles, products and books, women are still dissatisfied with their bodies.

Primal roots
Even as women have made enormous progress in careers and self-discovery, our attitudes have become distorted, affecting how we view and feel about our bodies. Not all of this is due to societal pressure. Some of our penchant for thinness is actually due to how our brains are wired. The primitive portion of our brains is designed for survival. Comparing ourselves to other women is impossible not to do, as we are sizing each other up constantly to see who is the better mate. This comes into play today, when women unconsciously compare themselves to the images they see in magazines and on-screen.

This becomes a soul-killing exercise, as we can never measure up. Encountering these images repeatedly, as most of us do, will eventually affect even the strongest of women and can result in depression.

Mind-body games
We use many tactics in dealing with our body image, all of which distance us from a reality-based, healthy attitude rooted in acceptance. See if you can recognize yourself in some, or all, of these:

Black or White thinking – I'm either fat or thin, no in-between
Blaming – I eat when you make me sad
Labeling – I'm fat
"Should-ist" thinking – I should eat less; I shouldn't have eaten that
Emotional – I have no self-control; I'll never measure up
Minimizing – I really don't care what I look like
Catastrophizing – There's nothing worse than me being five pounds overweight
Maximizing – I'm so much larger than everyone else
Dwelling on the negatives – I'll never lose weight
Over-generalizing – I'm overweight today, so I will be forever

Media matters
The media exacerbates our distorted relationship to our bodies; and many of us go to great lengths to invest in our appearance, adding another level of pressure. What's the solution to incessant media bombardment? If you don't want to go to the lengths of getting rid of your TV, bear in mind that it portrays false or idealized humans – and that magazine cover photos are usually the result of careful retouching.

So Long, Barbie – Tools for Building a Healthy Body Image

• Listen to your body. Eat when you're hungry.
• Be realistic about the size you're likely to be based on your genetic and environmental history.
• Exercise regularly in an enjoyable way, regardless of size.
• Expect periodic changes in weight and shape.
• Practice self-acceptance and self-forgiveness – be gentle with yourself.
• Ask for support and encouragement from friends and family when life is stressful.
• Decide how you prefer to spend your energy – pursuing the "perfect body" or enjoying family, friends or school – and, most importantly, life.

It's clear that finding a solution to the disconnect with our bodies is an inside job. If you're carrying excess weight, pay attention to what's good in the world, let your love show and accept love that's offered. Decide where you want to put your energy and resolve to live in your body, just as it is today.