Couples often find that vacations at destination spas improve intimacy. The focus on relaxation means goodbye to fatigue, which may play havoc with a relationship. “Many people can’t imagine anything but going to sleep,” says Lana Holstein, M.D., about the effect of today’s hectic lifestyle on loving bonds. Dr. Holstein, a preventive medicine physician and sexuality counselor, says exhaustion is a major block to a good sexual relationship.

“Most of us want gourmet sex, but we often go to the fridge for leftovers,” she says. “We don’t have the time or energy to create what we would enjoy.” She says couples should put as much effort into intimate connections as they do to succeed at work or in sports. No one, for example, expects to play a better game of tennis without spending more time on the court or taking lessons. Yet in the sexual arena, couples sometimes believe they have failed if they don’t know how to be intimate or sexually expert. Men and women have to learn and be willing to expand their repertoire to maximize the connection with their partner, Dr. Holstein stresses.

During the intimacy workshops that she teaches, Dr. Holstein asks couples to look at what keeps them from a better relationship. In the process, there have been many breakthroughs. Those who love and care about each other reconnect when barriers are removed. Some stop directing all their energy into work, while others resolve simmering issues.

Destination spas give exhausted couples the chance to reconnect through relaxation and stress reduction. But this means making an effort to slow down. Dr. Holstein cautions these guests to avoid scheduling every minute. Rushing from one activity to another follows the same blueprint that has negatively affected the relationship at home. “Take time to walk, to enjoy nature and the environment,” she says. “You’ll get into touch with your sensuality and your senses.”