Canyon Ranch (Massachusetts)
When was the last time you thought about sex as part of your prescription for a healthy life?
If the answer is, "I can't remember," consider this: People who are regularly and frequently sexually active live longer, sleep better and can manage chronic pain more easily. Depression is improved by sex, as is self-esteem, spirituality and overall happiness.
So why do so many of us, women in particular, complain about not being interested in sex? This question is being discussed in American newspapers, magazines and on television, yet no one seems to have an answer.
Causes to consider
There can be several reasons for a lack of interest in sex. In some cases, hormonal shifts during pregnancy, PMS and menopause are to blame. These changes can affect women's moods and sense of wellness and lower their sexual appetite. However, more often, fatigue and anger are responsible for the drop in sexual interest and this is unlikely to improve without a change in lifestyle.
Exhaustion or anger can get in the way, making sleep and a good book much more attractive options than sex, and leading to comments like:
"I just don't have the time and energy" or, "I'm so mad about all the responsibilities I have that sex is the last thing on my mind!"
It's also not uncommon for women to spend their days doing things for everyone other than themselves. The demands imposed by work always take priority and feel never-ending. Living this way day after day makes sex just one more thing on the "to-do" list. Hardly something to look forward to!
If the oasis that sex provided at one time in your life is a definite thing of the past, it's time for a tune-up. Spend some time re-evaluating your daily schedule. Prioritize your sense of what truly needs to be accomplished. Then, rethink the role that sex plays in how you feel in general and how you feel about your partner.
Ingredients for good health
When people look for ways to improve their health, they may seek out the ingredients for a nutritious meal, a good exercise program and ways to relieve stress. But what about the ingredients for a good sex life?
Women especially should reconsider sex as a major ingredient in their recipe for healthy living. And, if you're a woman whose life is dictated by your to-do list, examine the importance of letting go of some of your responsibilities to make room for reconnecting with your loving partner.
One of the best ways to start this is by making sex and intimacy a priority on a regular basis - for example, going away together alone, as a couple, every six to eight weeks, even if it's just overnight. It gives couples a chance to reconnect and be reminded of why they fell in love in the first place. Getting out of your home environment can be a strong aphrodisiac. No kids, computers, cell phones or laundry. And, getting away often takes the pressure off those yearly vacations - if you're not "in the mood" one weekend, you know you'll have another opportunity in the near future to access and express your sexual self.
The integrated plan
Sex is an important part of a loving relationship and has many benefits for your emotional and physical health. If you say you're too tired for sex, it's time for a lifestyle change and to rearrange your priorities.
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