Canyon Ranch (Massachusetts)

Ever had one of those days? You get stuck behind a slow driver when you're already running late, your computer crashes an hour before a deadline, your romantic dinner is interrupted by a screaming baby at the next table. Everywhere you go people and things seem to be thwarting you.

Many people take such obstacles in stride, hope for a better tomorrow or focus on more peaceful experiences. Others dwell on life's inevitable frustrations and irritations and stay at a constant simmer. Research has shown that such lingering anger can actually affect heart health.

Researchers have found that cynicism, anger and hostility negatively affect the heart. In fact, the major factors for developing coronary disease are now considered to be lack of exercise, smoking, obesity, diabetes and chronic hostility. It's important to learn how to manage or reduce anger in everyday life.

Resentment and your health
Aside from making you feel agitated and upset, a hostile attitude can cause serious health complications, including:

. Higher blood pressure
. Increased heart rate
. Increased stress-related hormones
. Decreased immune system response

And when anger runs out of control, it leads to more conflict and yet another important health-risk - lack of sleep. Many habitually resentful people develop unhealthy habits such as smoking or drinking as a way of coping. It's critical to identify the anger in your life and make positive changes.

Make the connection
You don't help your heart either by expressing or repressing anger. The goal is to be less angry.

Cultivating empathy is a first step: We don't tend to get as angry about situations in which we can put ourselves in the other person's place. It's easy to get upset at other drivers, for example, because driving is depersonalized. We want to get where we're going and we're indifferent to the other drivers' needs because we don't know them - we usually can't even see them clearly.

Try this next time you feel your rage starting to rise in traffic: Try to imagine the other driver as someone you know and love. This makes it easier to understand the reasons for the driver's actions, or simply to forgive them.

Do you believe?
Another useful strategy for increasing serenity is to examine the attitudes that underlie your reactions. When you start to feel that uncomfortable tumult gathering in your chest, stop to notice the thoughts going through your head. Often, mistaken beliefs give rise to unpleasant emotions.

One such belief is that all things should be fair, or that bad things only happen to bad people. This kind of thinking logically leads to a Why me? attitude whenever something frustrating occurs. The cure is to recognize a few hard truths and to work on truly accepting them. The world is not fair. Bad things happen to wonderful people. Good things happen to rotten people. These are simply facts about the human condition; accept them and you will be happier and healthier.

Another incorrect belief is that every situation or environment can be changed. The advantage of this belief is persistence; the disadvantage is lowered equanimity. Try memorizing the Serenity Prayer and saying it to yourself when you find that you're metaphorically banging your head against a wall: Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Many people find it helpful to keep a talisman of some sort on the dashboard or in a pocket that reminds them to say the prayer when they feel themselves starting to lose their tempers.

One step at a time
Start with these techniques to lower your level of anger:
1. Recognize your anger, aggravation or impatience as an indication that you're "hooked" by some situation. Take this a sign that it's time to do something different.
2. Pause to calm your body. Take a deep breath and relax your muscles. Try shrugging your shoulders up to your ears and then dropping them. Do this a few times.
3. Focus your attention on your heart. Imagine you're breathing through your heart.
4. Bring to mind a time or situation when you felt calm and loved. Make the memory real; feel it, see it, hear it.
5. Return to the situation that's hooked you and consider whether there is anything you can appreciate about the situation now.

Finding your Zen
Another way to reduce anger is to be around living things that need your nurturing: Caring for others makes us gentler and happier. Programs in prisons where convicts are made responsible for caring for and training dogs have produced remarkable turnarounds in some very angry people. The sort of unconditional, judgment-free affection animals give so freely is something we can all use.

Regular spiritual practices can also be helpful. These practices need not be limited to church, mosque or synagogue. Meditating, walking in the garden, sitting peacefully or simply spending time without a lot of activity or noise can be helpful. Turning your attention inside to larger things (i.e., God, nature, the universe) can calm your spirit and dissipate anger.

Reduce your stress and anger
The traffic may still crawl, and the annoying coworker may still get on your nerves, but you can choose how much strain you allow these events to exert on your heart. Work on becoming less reactive and you'll be healthier, and happier, too.

http://www.canyonranch.com/
(800)742-9000 (413)637-4100