The Oaks at Ojai
Recently I overheard a guest at the spa chatting with some new friends. “Gosh, how I wish kids came with an instruction manual, just like the one with my new computer.” As the mother of four and now a happy grandmother, I know exactly what this woman meant. Somehow parenting is only easy if you’re not a parent.

You may have read a few weeks ago about the staggering percentage of children who have low self esteem, do not get enough exercise, are unable to decide on healthy food choices and/or are overweight. Type II Diabetes, once a disease of “older, sedentary” people is now affecting children as young as 10, because of inappropriate food and activity choices. On the opposite end of this spectrum is the rising concern about eating disorders in pre-teen and teenage girls. These topics trouble me, and I know that it doesn’t have to be that way.

As adults, caregivers, parents, and grandparents we need to be role models for our kids and the ones included in our extended families. We can talk and talk to others about changing habits for the better but as the adage goes, a picture is worth much more…and if we’re the “picture” of health, our family will get the message. More so, I am definitely not recommending intruding on another’s life. Instead, find the power to become a role model with a healthy life.

Here are some tips.
*Eat breakfast. This may be a huge change for you, which will require time and preparation, but studies show that children who eat breakfast do better in school with higher test scores and are more likely to succeed in social interaction. However, if you’re rushing out the door with a cup of black coffee or nothing at all, there’s no way you can tell your children to have yogurt, a bran muffin and fruit, cheese or a slice of pizza.

*Learn ways to handle stress. Let’s say the kids see you come home every evening after a grid-lock commute angry, frustrated and recounting the inabilities of some drivers. You storm through the house and head straight for a bag of potato chips and a six pack of cola, or something stronger, to unwind. That’s what they’ll learn on handling stress. Commuting is stressful and so is work. But you can make changes for the better. Investigate options to help you be a better role model. Can you stop before going home for a breath of air? Can you pull over and listen to some classical or upbeat music? Maybe you can read or listen to a motivational tape. Would it be possible to pull over blocks from your house and sip some water so that you can feel refreshed when you hit the front door? If anger and stress are turning you into a tyrant, it’s time to talk with a listening friend, a therapist or perhaps a clergy person. Your kids’ lives are already stressful and when they ! reach adulthood there’s no telling what they’ll have to handle. They need a role model right now.

*Lead an active life. Children love to play, but sometimes they’ll put that quality to work in front of the computer. Perhaps they’ve seen you do it, too, or maybe you spend too much time amused by television. It’s going to be up to you to change this behavior. Schedule a family cycling time. You can skate, hike, walk, jog, swim, surf and play basketball together regardless of the ages of your kids. If they’re very young, pop them in a stroller and go for an outing.

*Talk to the kids you love about dangerous behaviors; it’s not easy, but it ’s essential. Yet before you do, look at your own life. They’re not going to believe a word you say unless you’ve already taken your own advice. Do you drive too fast? Do you smoke, drink more than you should, choose unhealthful foods or have habits that you do not want kids to model? Make some changes before you start that all-important and on-going conversation.

Keeping our children safe, healthy, and strong isn’t something that magically happens, it takes thoughtful planning. While there’s no instruction book that comes with kids, the few suggestions above will help to keep and your children fit for life.