The Oaks at Ojai
If we were to believe that everyone was slim, perfect and beautiful, as the media often seems like it would want us to believe, then over 90 percent of the females age 13 and older are "abnormal." This is just not so. The average clothing size for an adult woman in the United States is a 12. The average size adult woman in television commercials and in print ads is a size 6.
As a mom and now a grandmother, I've become concerned when I hear how many young women (and some young men) believe that antiquated adage of never being too thin. They go to extremes to be like the 10 percent who are models, rather than real women. This can lead to dangerous, life-threatening behaviors.
As real women, let's do the girls in our lives a favor and talk about trimming, weight gain, and their bodies. They will listen.
But first, and here's the tough news, you must model good behavior. If you get involved in every fad diet on the planet, eat quirky weight loss "foods," or exercise in any extreme way, that's shouting to your teenager that you're unhappy with your body so she can be too.
As a good role model, you must choose healthful foods to nourish your body. This includes low fat protein, calcium-rich selections, and plenty of fruits and vegetables.
Do you smoke or drink often? Look in the mirror at the message you're sending to that beautiful adolescent. It could be one you do not want to have her see in others.
Talk about the body's natural rhythm and let your daughter, or that girl in your life, know that when eating salty foods and the times before and during her monthly cycle, her body weight may change. This is the "girl talk" she needs to know.
Discuss weight loss and calorie choices. Most teens drink soda; many drink far too much of it. Water, including the trendy sparkling kind, is a great substitute. Your "job" is to keep bottles of water at the front of the refrigerator or where she and her friends can reach them more quickly than the cola.
Talk about food choices and especially breakfast. Too many teens skip it to save calories or just because they don't have the time. This is a mistake. Studies dealing with intelligence have shown again and again that kids of all ages who eat breakfast do better in tests and in behavioral situations. That means your daughter might not be so touchy or lackluster if she has breakfast. Make sure that as her caregiver you have "cool" foods, like muffins, fruits that are quick and stuff for smoothies on hand. Breakfast can be left over pizza, Chinese food, or even a tuna sandwich. Just think back about the out of the ordinary combinations you ate when growing up and have some of those available. When my daughters were teens, they liked peanut butter on wheat toast, cheese sandwiches and yogurt with vegetables. Breakfast is a habit. Habits take about six weeks to become established.
Most teens do not get enough exercise. Again, it's up to you to model the behavior. You might want to start with a spa vacation for the two of you. Be sure to get nifty clothes before you go; for teens looking good is an absolute. At the spa, try out various sports or activities from cycling to yoga. Talk about how you both can become more active when you return home. Exercising, that is getting off your backside and moving, may make dieting unnecessary.
Talk about goals for wellness. Most teenage girls love to keep journals. In the journal, your daughter can write about how she feels when she's more active. Suggest that she write some goals there, too. Small do-able goals always work best.
Your daughter's body is changing. For most girls it doesn't seem fast enough, but the information you share today could help her stay fit for life.
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