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Is your stress showing? Are you feeling shy? Confident? Full of energy or exhausted? Your body language can be like a gabby friend, and if you're unaware of your body language, your face and body may broadcast messages to the contrary. How important is body language? Your words tell people just seven percent of what's on your mind. Tone conveys another 38 percent. That leaves a hefty 55 percent of the task of communication to your body language. When you tune into your body language, you'll communicate better and avoid misunderstandings. Your business, social and family relationships are all likely to function better when you communicate effectively, and fluency in body language is part of that. If you learn that your body is a tool, you can learn how to utilize it. What message are you conveying? Eye contact is a big part of body language. The same goes for your facial expression and how you use your torso, arms and legs. Positive body language includes: Negative body language: Take notice How often do you look in a mirror as you're talking or interacting? No wonder so many people are unaware of their body language. You can bet that actors, politicians and others who are very concerned with the impression they make study themselves carefully in the mirror and on film to refine the nuances of their physical communication. Those of us who have less time to devote to studying ourselves can still improve our self-presentation by becoming more mindful of our physical communication. The next time you're about to enter a room where you want to make a good impression, take just a moment to focus on being centered and grounded. Pause before you step in to take a deep, calming breath and do a quick body scan. Are your shoulders creeping up around your ears? Shrug them up and let them fall a few times to release tension. Are you slumping? Straighten up and settle your shoulder blades down your back. You'll come across as happier and more confident. Make sure your body language matches the content and importance of what you're saying. Weak body language can make your message considerably less forceful. If you need more confidence, stronger body language is a positive first step, because strong body language doesn't just communicate pride and positivity to others; it speaks to you, too. Using assertive body language can bring about an inner change over time. Reading you loud and clear Actors use "rhythm, force and space" to communicate with an audience, and you can use the same tools. Notice whether you move jerkily or smoothly. Jerky movements suggest discomfort or unease. How forcefully do you move? Do you stomp or stride confidently or walk on tippy-toe? Do you scrunch up when you sit in a movie or airplane seat, or claim the body space that's rightfully yours? A neighbor who violates your space may be silently conveying a sense of entitlement, or saying, "I'm more important than you." This is a very basic form of communication - dogs understand it perfectly - and a powerful one. Salespeople and other professionals often study body language to learn how to present themselves and read clients' unspoken messages. The sales guy showing you a gleaming SUV lays a hand on his heart: "You can trust me," says the gesture. He pulls off his jacket, implying: "I'm revealing myself to you." He rolls up his sleeves, saying "I'm ready to get down to business." Whether you're listening to a sales pitch or sitting through a business meeting, your posture can display interest and openness or a closed-off attitude. If you smile and lean forward, your body says you're open and interested. Crossed arms and legs and tapping fingers signal that you're closed off and unresponsive. Becoming aware of the signals you're sending can help you make the impression you want. To ease others into a more open stance and frame of mind, savvy communicators often use a tactic known as "joining" or "mirroring" behavior - you can do the same. Mirroring another's posture and gestures - maybe crossing your arms to match the other's pose - subliminally suggests that you're in harmony. After a while, the person across the desk may uncross her arms, and you do the same. At that point, you've unwrapped the other person's closed stance like a candy bar. Passing over a paper is another way to persuade another person to lower those defensive arms and participate. Joining behavior may seem manipulative, but it can be used for very positive reasons - to make another person feel more at ease, or to communicate genuine sympathy. It can also just make a social situation more comfortable: mirroring someone's stance at a party, for instance - leaning the same way, or sitting at the same level - may make for a more relaxed conversation. Wow your audience with better body language Relaxing isn't on most people's minds when it comes to public speaking, but better body language can improve your confidence and leave your audience wanting more. Whether you sit, stand or walk up and down, keep a good, chest-up, shoulders-back body position. Remember - your body language is your best-ever visual aid. When standing, maintain an open, upright, solid stance: Standing squarely on both feet to communicate reliability and conviction -- crossing one foot over the other weakens your foundation. In general, notice things you're doing, so you're choosing it, and it's not choosing you. Under this heading comes fidgeting or putting your hands in your pockets or behind your back Remember what your mom told you - smile, put your shoulders back and keep good eye contact. Set your body working for you. You'll feel great and communicate better than ever. www.canyonranch.com © Copyright 2009 |
