The Kerr House(Ohio)
The holidays are rapidly approaching, and we'd like to plan ahead and consciously decide how we'll approach this beautiful season and stay calm and collected as we enjoy it all. A good start is to mentally take an eraser and erase all your past negative attitudes of stress and busy-ness that have built up through the years. Now, with a clean slate, decide that this is going to be the greatest Holiday season ever. Decide that you will think it through, plan it carefully, and keep your focus on making it fun for yourself and everyone around you. Make a commitment that there will be no griping or complaining.
Everyone has stress in their life. Some will succumb to the stress and let it rule their life, while others will stay cheerful, take one day at a time and make the best of it. Many are wise enough to take action, taking steps to learn how to cope and stay healthy, which is a key factor. (When the stress takes over, your immune system shuts down, and we want a strong immune system.) So, pre-planning is like shouting to the world, "I am in control and I am staying healthy and happy. I am taking steps to ENJOY IT ALL".
Attaining and maintaining good health is the best start to enjoying each day, as it is much easier when you have good energy and feel good. The first step is to cleanse your attitude. We often get into a rut of complaining and looking for the negative, and that only brings more of the same to you. So, erase that attitude and replace it with seeing the best in people and situations. Expect good things to happen for you. Notice and talk about them when they do.
Christmas and Hannakah are religious holidays, and that is what this season is celebrating. That is very personal, so we'll leave that celebration sacred with each of you. What we'll do is review what can be done in other areas to lighten your load. There are four steps that I strongly suggest, 1) List your expectations for the season, 2) List all the things you want to do before and during the holidays, 3) Make a list of gifts you want to give, 4) Decide what you want to spend on gifts, entertainment, and decorating and stay within that figure:
1) For a good start, list your expectations for the season. What do you expect from your family, your extended family, your friends, your work and interest groups, and events you plan to attend? One of the biggest problems is that our expectations are so high for the holidays that they can't possibly be met. We are looking too far beyond our happy lives for that perfect Norman Rockwell event, and in the process we forget to see the joy and beauty in the realistic celebrations that surround us. Face the facts: you are human, your family is human, and your country is a capitalistic society. We need to accept and deal with those facts.
2) List all the things you want to do before and during the holiday season. Then consider your time, energy, and family, and decide what you can accomplish comfortably. Make time for You - schedule that in.
On a clean piece of paper, make 4 columns. Titles can be: "Obligations", "Necessities", "Makes me happy", and "Crop". Go down your list and put each item in a category. Start filling that "crop" column until your list begins to feel do-able. When you begin to feel some enthusiasm about what is left in "Makes me Happy", you are on your way to a delightful season. Now, in each column, except "Crop", put things in the order of importance to you. Forgive yourself in advance for only doing the things you have time for . Make a rule: there will be NO guilt, there will be FEW obligations, there will be MUCH joy, laughter, and fun.
'Dinner' might be one item on your list, but days in the doing, so consider allowing everyone who is attending (even the little ones) the pleasure of bringing their favorite dish. Ask freely for help in cleaning up. Maybe have prizes, or a drawing for a prize, for the best cleaner-upper. Do everything you can do to see that you enjoy the holidays. Show the family, "If I'm happy, everybody's happy".
3) Make a list of the gifts you want to give. Release obligation and practicality and unleash creativity and ingenuity. Let gift giving become fun. Many children receive so many material things they hardly appreciate them. Now is the time to change that and put some meaning into their gifts rather than volume. You'll be doing them a favor. We often say that Christmas is for children. Then let's teach the children to give as well as receive.
Time with you is always a great gift, so keep that in mind when you make your list. A trip with children, a parent, a sister you seldom see, or an elderly friend is a wonderful gift. It can be for dinner, an event, a day, or a week. A coupon for personal taxi service, to wash someone's windows, or to take them shopping is greatly appreciated. One-on-one time is invaluable. Teach that to your children as well. They could give a gift certificate or coupon to an elderly person for running to the grocery for them, or fixing a meal (even if it's boxed macaroni and cheese). It's the thought and company that counts. Keep a list of these gifts so you follow up and fulfill each one. Don't wait to be asked, but contact them to set a date soon after giving the gift.
And while you are making your list, consider the thoughtfulness of giving something that makes the recipient feel good physically, mentally, and emotionally. Treatments, like massages, facials, reflexology, reiki, etc., are wonderful gifts. If it's a larger gift, consider a trip to a Destination Spa. It can be a life changing experience, improve their health, and be a gift to you, as well, because they'll be so happy with their gift.
4) Decide and write down what you will spend - on entertainment, on gifts, and on decorating. Use your creativity to accept the challenge of staying within those boundaries. Avoid the January bills and blues. Imagine what a good feeling you will have when your holidays are a happy memory and you have not overspent. As you consider your budget, remember that time with you does not go on your credit card, and you will receive pleasure from that gift as well as the recipient.
Doesn't it make you feel better facing directly how you'll handle your holidays and knowing in advance that you will be in charge so it will be a pleasurable experience? You will be surprised how contagious your attitude will be, and how much everyone around you will respond in like fashion. You can do it, I know you can. Enjoy it all!
