Canyon Ranch (Massachusetts)
Physical changes, teetering relationships and lack of confidence have stressed teens since before your great-grandparents noticed the opposite sex. However, 21st century teens face stresses that didn't exist a generation ago. The pressure is on, and young adults are more stressed-out than ever before.
Pressure to succeed is tremendous. Teens trying to get into high-powered colleges may feel overwhelmed with course work, extracurricular activities and preparation for standardized tests, and many have overflowing schedules - leaving no time for rest and relaxation.
A packed schedule and towering homework often means staying up late. Stress comes with the territory and many teens aren't getting enough sleep. Getting kids to bed at 10 o'clock may be a thankless task, but adequate sleep is vital for their ongoing health and well-being.
How you can help
Teens deal with countless distractions, from instant messages to emails, Facebook and Twitter. Social connections are an important source of support that can help teens deal with ongoing stresses - but help your child set boundaries. Use the "off" switch when necessary.
Surveys show that teens rate a good relationship with family as the most important factor for happiness. Maintain an open dialogue with your teen. Be an approachable parent. Find a common interest, then share outings to ballgames or sci-fi movies. When your daughter enjoys a book, ask to borrow it - then share your thoughts on the characters you loved or loathed.
What does stress look like?
Signs of teen stress can be physical, mental or emotional, so it's important to be observant.
Warning signs
. Physical: headaches; stomachaches; nervousness; eating disorders (eating too much or too little).
. Mental: forgetfulness; being disorganized; difficulty concentrating; a drop in grades; lack of sleep, sometimes causing behavior resembling attention deficit disorder.
. Emotional: anger; impatience; sadness; irritability.
Boys and girls experience stress differently - girls are more likely to talk, whereas boys tend to clam up, making them more prone to use drugs, alcohol or smoking as a coping mechanism. Help your teen learn coping and relaxation skills. Teach him or her about time management, and how to organize in order to prevent stressful last-minute panics.
Ways to promote positive communication could include holding family meetings. Empower your teen by letting him take a turn at facilitating. Listen respectfully to his opinions and problems. Let him make decisions and come up with his own solutions. Share your values, but resist the urge to step in with answers. Helping youngsters learn how to make good decisions for themselves is the best gift parents can provide.
Catch your teen doing well, and offer praise whenever possible. Encouragement boosts healthy self-esteem - a great deterrent to stress. Don't forget the importance of down time. Play games that promote conversation, like board games, puzzles, or cards.
Exercise works wonders
Encourage kids to explore their passions and have fun. Regular exercise and a healthy lifestyle are A-plus stress relievers. When self-image is low, and grades suffer, exercise offers an easily-accessible solution. It not only relieves stress, but helps students think better and perform better in school and on tests.
Athletics can offer great benefits, including teamwork and a sense of camaraderie - a great buffer against stress. Seasonal sports are a terrific way for teens to take a break from the daily routine and enjoy pure exhilaration, from training for a 5K or cycling event to snowboarding.
When helping your teens de-stress, why not take your own advice? Go for a run together and decompress and reconnect at the same time. Stress has its place in a balanced life - it helps us meet deadlines and get tasks done; but when it gains the upper hand, teens, and adults, can soon feel overwhelmed.
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